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July 25 2011

schizma

Friends vs. real friends


Friends: Never ask for food.
Real Friends: Are the reason you have no food.

Friends: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
Real friends: Call your parents mom/dad

Friends: Will bail you out of jail
Real friends: Will be sitting right next to you saying “Damn we fucked up..but that shit was fun!”

Friends: Will sit there awkwardly as you get yelled at
Real friends: Will stand right next to your parents and say “What are we going to do with her/him.”

Friends: Will knock on your door.
Real friends: Will walk right in and say “I’m home!”

Friends: Will take your drink when they think you’ve had enough.
Real friends: Will see you stumbling all over the place and say “Drink the rest, we don’t wanna waste it!”

Friends: Will take you to the store to buy a pregnancy test.
Real friends: Would say “Name it after me!”

Friends: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
Real friends: Would kick the crowd’s ass who left you.

Friends: Say ‘You’re better than him’ when he breaks up with you.
Real friends: Say “BITCH, GET THE FUCK UP. WE’RE GOING TO WAL-MART. WE ARE BUYING A GALLON OF ICE CREAM FOR YOUR MOPEY ASS, AND YOU’RE GOING TO CRY. ALL FUCKING NIGHT. YOU WILL WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING. WE ARE BURNING ALL HIS SHIT. ALL OF IT. WE’LL GO SHOPPING, AND BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BITCHES ON THE PLANET.” 

Friends: Are for a while.
Real friends: Are for life. 
schizma

That awkward moment when you realize that growing up sucks...

How much sugar is in your food.

justanotherweightlossblog:

thinwillalwayswin:

skinnysquared:

Each cube represents 1 teaspoon.

Holy shit!

MOTHERCUNTZ~

June 06 2011

schizma
5644 043e
schizma

Dots (get your cursor on them!)

Reposted fromsawb sawb viathosecookiesaremine thosecookiesaremine
schizma
schizma
schizma
1230 932c

May 18 2011

schizma
Reposted fromsawb sawb viaweregesu weregesu

April 26 2011

schizma
4981 2e77 500
schizma
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